Let me ask you this, how many of you have ever thought that life would be great if it weren’t for certain people? Ok now can you count for a minute how many people probably say the same thing about you? The point is that there are always two sides to the story and in some cases more as I found out earlier this week.
I bring this up because I am currently caught in between two factions casted against a he said she said storyline. Now interestingly both parties seem genuinely interested in each other but they just love themselves a lot more than the other, and yes that is perfectly reasonable as we all have boundaries around the extent of our selflessness.
The very aspect of listening in on these stories is draining because I am RED by nature and have this immense desire to step in and solve this third world crisis. But I realized about 10 minutes into the conversation that I just needed to hear this story unfold and so I took a hard grip on the chair and sat tight as I patiently listened to the banter with an intent to understand rather than one to respond.
Now what followed felt like an eternity to me as I fought my urges to step in to correct, re-direct as required, and mostly to keep my ever so short temper in check. The other frustrating aspect was that I was failing to find a common thread on the root cause amidst the various point of views presented and this was just eating my head.
Now for those of you who know me, this is an interesting sight to behold; in my head I could picture myself sitting on that chair with my fists clenched, eyes wide open with that “what the F*$% did you just say” look and red faced with anger … this sight catches me off guard and I burst out into laughter and everyone around the table stopped and looked at me as if I had lost it.
75 minutes into this seemingly never ending conversation it struck me that what was at stake on the table was not an issue of the heart but one of the mind. Every single statement that was made was centered from within one’s self rather than outside, in other words false pride was getting in the way and everyone was telling a story that they had spun up to aid their point of view.
This was an interesting perspective for me to gain as the picture of the society that I paint in my head is all but my illusion of grandeur whilst it is still immersed in evaluating its superiority through materialistic wellbeing, accumulation of wealth being the sole sign for prosperity.
75 minutes of empty mindless banter of entangled egos just leads me to yet another question I cannot answer about myself, “Why am I different from the others? What caused me to change?”; Good news is that knowing I am different is a great start as I position myself to continuing these conversations.
This quote certainly comes to mind
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice, and motivated by pride and vanity” – Dale Carnegie
Over and out, Raj